Sure, our own Erin and conventional wisdom say that in life you only get one chance. However, there is good advice, not to mention learning from your mistakes.
That’s why I’m going to share with you the biggest relationship mistake I ever made. It stopped me from making plenty of mistakes, like bad ex sex, dropping cash I didn’t have on a bikini wax, and becoming the victim of sheer drunken douchebaggery. And my personal favorite: What if I’m going to die alone now?
But staying in contact with your ex following a breakup? By remaining in each other’s lives, you run the risk of a post-breakup rendezvous, holding onto feelings for your ex, and in general delaying your ability to heal and move on quickly (and without additional heartache). This is actually one of the single most important steps you can follow during your breakup recovery. No Online Ex-Bashing After a breakup, it’s only natural to feel some residual anger, resentment, bitterness, etc.
The following are some tips to help you avoid a post-breakup backslide into your ex’s arms, and instead ease you into your happily ever after future: Create new Boundaries Your best defense after a breakup? That means no phone calls, no e-mails, no texting, and definitely no late-night visits. That means it’s time to “ex-tricate” him or her from your life. You just have to create special new boundaries, only dealing with and talking to your ex when absolutely necessary about your common interests, i.e., the children, business, work. And in the era of social networking sites and You Tube, it’s all too easy to go online and spew in front of millions of readers/viewers. By going online and bashing your ex on your blog, via video diary, or to everyone in your social network, you are inviting bad breakup karma into your life. Handle the Dreaded Run-in with Class While it would be fabulous if your ex could be automatically ejected from the planet following the breakup, that technology has yet to be invented.
In order to start a relationship with your ex again, you have to realize that the old relationship you had previously with your ex is gone.
This is important because you don’t want to go back to the same relationship that got you to where you are right now in the first place.
Making that decision is not easy because it is possible to get rejected or even ignored because after all, they did break up with you.
However it is definitely not impossible to get them back and the best way to do so is to start dating them all over again.
Own up: If she seems open, and you want to step up for another at-bat, acknowledge your shortcomings.
The reason your ex broke up with you is because they didn’t want to be with you in that relationship in the first place. One that is build on a different foundation where you learned the mistakes of what to do and not to do in the last relationship.
So come to terms that your old relationship with your ex is over. Which means when you eventually do go out on a date with your ex, do not mention anything of the past because what’s past is past.
What if you can’t completely cut off contact because you have children together, run a business together, or work together? If your ex wants to know how you’re handling the breakup? And you know what they say—what comes around goes around. And depending on the size of the city you live in, a post-breakup run-in with your ex is not only possible, it’s probable. Bumping into him does not mean that the two of you are meant to be together.
A word of warning when you’re in post-breakup mourning: DO NOT seek comfort in the arms of your ex. Instead, recruit a support system from your inner circle of friends, preferably friends who have your best interests at heart and won’t report back to your ex on your progress and setbacks. Then shut the door on any and all opportunities to help each other heal following the breakup.