To many who know me, this diagnosis will come as a surprise.
All my life I’ve tried to hide my weirdness from others. My need to do so many things the same way is something people often remark on. My very specific coffee shop routine; my need to use the same service stations on any journey. I line up my clothes and nail polishes in order of colour and feel uncomfortable if someone moves them. I find eye contact difficult and my reactions to situations are often slightly ‘off’. On bad days I feel under endless attack from smells and sounds. A label in a jumper or a seam on a sock can be so distracting that everything else fades into the background.
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As I take it all in, I wonder how it will affect my marriage. Tim relishes the emotional peaks and troughs of life, and absorbs the world through his senses. Often I wonder if he’d be happier with someone else — someone who responds to nature and could see wonder in a dragonfly dancing on the breeze at the edge of a crystal clear river.There is a universality to the suffering captured in “Aspie Seeks Love,” a new documentary by Julie Sokolow that premiered at Cinequest over the weekend.As it chronicles its protagonist’s dogged attempts to enter a successful romantic relationship, the film reveals an agenda much deeper than discussing Asperger’s syndrome or the broader autistic spectrum.But because it's been two weeks – and because he is autistic – I must begin again, from the start line, with my son. The floor is a Slip ' N Slide of books he's pulled down, most of them in greasy tatters.Clifford's First School Day; Clifford and the Big Storm – whatever that brave dog is put through by his author is nothing compared with the carnage he suffers at the hands of this rabid boy.