If the date feels like a hook-up, that’s probably what he’s seeking.To be sure you don’t give the wrong impression, “set a date for the future, and make it the right time of day and place so the intention of getting to know each other is there in the beginning,” recommends Ian Kerner, Ph.Her take: “I went out with a guy I met online who seemed really sweet and charming. A few days later, he texts me to say that he isn't looking for a girlfriend—just casual sex.I felt cheated and hurt.” -Andrea C., 31Expert take: Even if a guy doesn’t say straight out in his profile that he’s only looking for hook-ups, some will offer hints.Yet, we spent most of our time together, had lots of sex, went on both proper and casual dates, etc. I kept pressing the issue—our time together spanned about five months—“What do I call this? ” I asked her again and again.“You’re my sweetheart,” she finally said. It was both intimate and yet somehow chaste, as if we were moments away from getting a malted at the sock hop. When a man wants validation, what's the male equivalent to go about doing it? Dear Anon., I’m not sure what male or female has to do with validation specifically,... When a man wants validation, what's the male equivalent to go about doing it? Dear Anon., I’m not sure what male or female has to do with validation specifically,...And when women see a man seeks validation, what's the equivalent of her to validate him? And when women see a man seeks validation, what's the equivalent of her to validate him? (Anna Pulley)That word might feel too intense for your situation, in which case, here are some other suggestions.They blamed themselves—for choosing him, not ending it sooner, for texting him back when they should have remained silent, the list goes on.Wanting to find a life partner, spouse, or someone whose shoulder to lean your head upon are a nearly universal desire.
But deep down you may have a nagging feeling that something just isn’t right.Those who use phrases similar to “hoping to be friends first” are usually looking for fun rather than commitment, says Laurie Davis, founder and CEO of e Flirt Expert, and author of You can also weed out the casual sex seekers by looking at the context around your planned date: Is he willing to set up a date for a week or so later?Meet for coffee or in a place where you can hear each other talk?“Men mess up and then we feel badly about it.” One of my best friends in graduate school used to say this.As we swapped stories, too often this was a conclusion we came down to. Another said he was too good for the girl he was dating. Women wishing it was a small drawback and not an indication of something bigger.