I still have to apply a special lotion twice daily. Shooting out of my Dad’s penis in the backseat of a car into a very warm and safe egg and then nine months later being thrust into this cold cruel world in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Then I was pretty much drunk and stoned up to the age of four. I was in a play in high school and my Mom and Dad both still tell me how great I was. (I went to a very religious school) I was a student of method acting and I ended up in the emergency room with severe burns on my chest and neck.I’m actually contractually obligated to mention The Olive Garden at least three times during this interview as they have promised to feed my band for free and provide us with clean underwear and 9 volt batteries and all the napkins and creamy garlic dressing we can handle. Then I try to wash the germy sins off of my body with bleach and and Borax. Wake up and tell the person next to me that I need them to leave immediately, if not sooner.His songs have been among the longest running ever on the Billboard Top 100 and they regularly appear in movie soundtracks, television shows, and even the odd commercial.
A disagreement in the artistic direction of his material led to him leaving the label and forming his own company, 98 Pounder Records.
After that ordeal I usually write a song about how much I hate myself.
Next I get on Google maps and locate an Olive Garden and eat tons of gluteny carbs until I feel a little better.
Afterwards I usually drive for several hours and play a show to 12 disinterested people.
Then I call my parents and tell them the show was sold out and that I sold 80 cds. But if I have to make a deadline then all of a sudden I get all inspirationy and creativey and tree huggy.