For instance, perhaps you and your partner care about each other deeply, but you just can’t seem to stop fighting and arguing over every single thing.Or perhaps you’re slightly unsure about your true feelings for your partner in terms of a real future together, but you’re still hopeful that there could be something long-lasting between the two of you.Was my grandfather right in persuading my mother to leave, or should she have taken the night off as she wished to spend a little quality time with herself and Dr. No, that date was not with my father, so there is no implication of destiny at play here.But would canceling really have been such a bad idea? You spend an inordinate amount of time getting dressed. Friends excitedly ask when you started commuting to the city for work and you sheepishly explain that dating is now your full-time job. You really just want to chow down on a cheeseburger and fries at the Shake Shack instead of a salad and grilled fish at yet another expensive restaurant. You become a badass to your dates and suddenly realize the less you care the more they do. You are happy you just got dumped because now you finally have an excuse to stay home.Trial separation is not synonymous with lack of love and/or lack of desire to be with your significant other down the line.On the other hand, if the end result does, indeed, turn out to be a terminal break up as one or both of you decide to go your separate ways, bear in mind that it's probably for the best -- better now than later, right?Yep, that’s when it’s time to take a break from dating.The idea might sound terrifying at first, especially if you’d planned to accomplish this whole falling in love thing by a certain date. Maybe you need to spend more time at work or with family.
But when you’re burned out, dating is a waste of time. Maybe you need to learn how to be happy being alone before you can be good company for anyone else. That way, you don’t end up like your forever date-less girlfriend – you know, the one who’s been “taking a break” for the last six years.
In this day and age, the traditional stigma that has long accompanied a couple's decision to take a break from their relationship is gradually fading as a thing of the past. You no longer hear one another, you can hardly sustain a conversation without it erupting into a full blown fight within minutes... On the other hand, if during this time apart, you realize that you hardly ever miss your partner, it might be a clear sign that you may, sadly, be approaching the end of the long and winding road.
It's become increasingly clear that deciding to give each other space does not necessarily equal in the direct sense of the term. Yes, it may be worth looking into calming down and getting yourselves together individually before you can do so collectively. Both time and distance have been known to refuel love and longing for one another. Letting go may no longer be an option but instead, your only available solution. Learning more about your loved one is, of course, invaluable for a healthy partnership (particularly as far as long-term relationships go.) But somewhere along the way, much like a vessel, we find ourselves falling deeper and deeper into our other half and their whole being, while inevitably losing touch with ourselves and our identity.
Wait and see how long you can go without playing with her hair, caressing his neck, swapping stories at the end of a long day, waking her up with a fresh cup of coffee and that simple joy of fixing his favorite breakfast on Sunday morning.
A trial separation does not have to resemble a painfully lonesome leave of absence.