Key goals of a first date are to (a) see if you have a connection, and (b) find out if you and your date have any major areas of incompatibility. Why: Does the person have strong feelings or are they more easygoing and with milder feelings. We’re wired so that once we start to develop an emotional attachment this is hard to break away from. Why: Different vacation preferences or amounts of vacation time can be a major source of ongoing incompatibility. Why: This question helps establish if your date has a positive or negative attitude? Why: Helps you find out the person's preferences and also helps you establish if the person has any free time or if they're a workaholic. Why: Are they very involved with their family of origin? Alice's Twitter @Dr Alice Boyes photo credits: Pink Sherbet Photography, Www.When you are sharing you own perspective on things the “principle of reciprocity” will inspire her to give her point of view on whatever you just told her.Try to offer your own perspective on the subject of a question/topic before you ask her about that question, she will often feel inspired to return her opinion and yhus you don’t have to ask the question.
You need ice breakers, light-hearted queries, questions that provoke banter, laughter, and thought, as well as questions that dig a bit deeper and go beyond the superficial. If she hates planes, road trips, or has no desire to leave her hometown ever, that's a good indicator of her ambitions and desires (or lackthereof).
The two pick at their dinner salads, staring down at the leafy mound before them. Finally, one of them tries to grease the wheels of conversation. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly.
But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part.
There aren’t hard and fast rules about what’s a good vs. Research has shown that the most effective communication style in relationships is a flexible one. Why: This is primarily relevant if you're either an extreme night or an extreme morning person.
The examples below are intended to stimulate your own ideas rather than as rules. Why: Is the person about to make any major life changes e.g., leave their 0K/year job to go back to school? Do they see it as a job, a vocation, or are they primarily motivated by climbing the career ladder?